I have been having quite a lot of fun connecting with people through FaceBook.

One delightful application is ‘My Question’ wherein you can pose a question that your friends and network may choose to answer if they wish.

Beata’s question was: If you saw a UFO would you tell anyone?

My answer (blogged due to character restraints - this is why I do not Twitter - I seem to need a lot of writing to process myself down to the essence of my point - this is also why I am in favour of journaling):

Question: If you saw a UFO would you tell anyone?

Answer: Hell ya! Only special people get to see UFOs. For example it is only my nearest and dearest who get to see my Thanksgiving turkey - Ugly Fowl Offering.

Oh, oh, you meant Unidentified Flying Object, which is just that UNIDENTIFIED. UFO is also, known as ‘flying saucer’, which by my dictionary is a UFO described as being Saucer Shaped.

So why is there social stigma around UFOs or Flying Saucers? (If there were no social stigma, there would be no reason to not tell.) What is it about “Unidentified” and “Saucer Shaped” that is freaking us out?

What does social stigma mean anyway? According to Merriem-Webster online, ‘stigma’ means; “a mark of shame or discredit.” And ‘social’ means; “of or relating to the welfare of human beings as members of society.” OK I think the issue arises with the meaning of ‘social’, specifically the word ‘welfare’, which is defined as; “the state of doing well especially in respect to good fortune, happiness, well-being, or prosperity.” Hmmm any feelings coming up for you of wanting to protect your “good fortune, happiness, well-being, or prosperity?” There is for me. I want to protect my good fortune, happiness, well-being, and prosperity.

What I know to be true is that, as soon as I shift to a an intent to protect I have moved into a space of fear – fear of loss in this case. Further, the word ‘unidentified’, really means not identified.

To me the real crux of the issue is the ‘un’ part, the ‘not’ part. Unidentified implies not known. As a general statement we human beings are scared spitless of the unknown. Unknown makes us feel unsafe. What do we do when we feel unsafe? We tend to have an overwhelming desire to protect. Bare with me as I repeat. What I know to be true is that, as soon as I shift to a an intent to protect I have moved into a space of fear. (Let me say here that my knowing my truth does not preclude, in my mind anyway, you from knowing your truth, which may well be different than mine.)

To my mind and heart fear is the opposite to love. Intent to protect and its opposite intent to learn are terms I took away from my work with theInner Bonding process. (If you check out their site, don’t miss their tag line, “Grace through Growth.” I just love it. To me grace is unconditional love warmed by the breath of the divine.)

I find both pairs of opposites (love:fear, intent to learn:intent to protect) applicable to life in general. I use them as reference points. I check in with my feelings and behaviours. Where am I in this moment? Am I coming from a place of love or fear? Am I in an intent to learn or an intent to protect. The forced choice of the pairs helps me identify what is going on for me in my world and so reduces my anxiety. (Oh come on people, like none of you experience anxiety. ;->)

I further find opportunity to learn about another from peeling back the layers of why we would do what we do. A great book of the same name Why We Do What We Do - four pathways to your authentic self describes eight patterns of behaviour from the perspective of inner family archetypes. It is a delicious mix of family myths and practical tools to engage and integrate the less dominate parts of our personality. To nurture, if you will, our psychological wounds. As always I am excited to share that the co-author of this book, Caroline Hanstke, a veteran psychologist, runs a practice in Calgary. If you are wondering, I am a Boy-Girl. That is boy in my thinking, girl in my feeling, mother in my spiritual space and father in my unconscious or shadow (to use a Jungian term.) No real surprises in that for me, yet the perspective derived from the mythology has been deeply insightful.

I believe also, that fear is what drives us to be less than truthful with ourselves and with others. For a truly marvelous, insightful and textured look at truth-telling please see Herriet G. Lerner’s, The Dance of Deception. Her entire “Dance” series is worth reading.

I digress. It is my habit. Today I am accepting of this habit within me.

So back to UFOs. I would say it is fear that makes some of us fussed about UFOs and/or Flying Saucers. Fear is what would keep us from telling if we saw a UFO. If I saw a UFO would I tell anyone? Hell ya! Only special people get to see UFOs. The aliens are only interested in the best-of-the-best. ;->

Happy, happy day!

As always comments are welcome. Your wisdom makes for better reading on the site.

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